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Thursday, November 11, 2010

What do YOU see?

I was at BRAVE GIRLS the other day and it totally inspired me to be open and honest about myself and how I feel when I look in the mirror. Especially to all of you that are going to be giving birth and your bodies have changed SO much and you are worried you wont ever be the same...the physical is so much easier to focus on than the emotional, spiritual etc. but it is NOT as important.

I got a text from a dear birth mom that said that the physical pain of just giving birth was a good distraction...WHY is it that our own physical views take up SO much of our thoughts and energy when we are all strong, intelligent women...whose thoughts should be on OTHER things...

It is NEVER easy to admit things about ourselves...I have people tell me on a regular basis that I am a pretty young woman...do you want to know what I think? What in the HELL do you see that I can't?? VERY rarely do I look in the mirror and think anything positive...especially these days...being 30, having given birth to two kids....boring, married, stay at home mom who doesn't have a lot of reason to get out of the pj's, who has cancer and feels sick all the time....

I know that we are our worst critics!! I could make a list a mile long about all the things that I literally HATE about my body and the way that I look....here is the thing...I am saying those things because I don't want to admit the things that REALLY bother me...the things that really need the work!!! My physical issues are a COVER UP for all that I am lacking mentally, emotionally and spiritually!!!

Here is what I see when I look in the mirror:

I see very tired eyes, and wrinkles on my forehead and a double chin and cheekbones that I don't recognize, and 35 pounds that never used to exist.

Who is this person staring back at me??!!!!

Now, if I was truly looking at myself, if I had a clear head and a full heart I would see a woman who is a BIG TOUGH GIRL...who against incredible odds is still here on this earth breathing in and out every day, has an incredible husband that thinks she is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL woman in the world, a gorgeous baby girl, an incredible gospel and truth that brings such light to her soul, a roof over her head, a family that could NEVER EVER be replaced by any one or anything.....

WHY DO I NOT SEE THOSE THINGS when I look in the mirror??? What is blocking them!!?? Why do I have so many physical issues when so many things, important things in my life are so beautiful and incredible!!???

That is what we are here to find out....SHARE with me what you see when you look in the mirror~ If we are BIG TOUGH GIRLS like we claim to be then we should be able to point the camera at ourselves and discover the truth...what are we hiding...why are we so cruel...what do we need to see the beauty within!!!

I would love for you to share your thoughts and feelings! I am READY to discover the me that IS ME!!! I am ready to put all my insecurities, my regrets, my guilt, my pain, my negative thoughts....EVERYTHING on a shelf...

I WANT TO SHINE!!!!!! I know I have it in me...I have covered it with all my ugliness to myself!!!

SHINE!!!!! You all have it in you...and it is more beautiful THAN ANY PRETTY FACE!!! Let it out...let it all go....

We love you all so much!!!!!......face what is inside you.....

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