8 Months After Placement!

Hello Everyone!
We have several BIB Birthmoms that are hitting that 8 month date after placement! I have been so proud of these woman, to watch them, to read what they are up to, to hear their sadness, their fears, their joys and the love that they have. I have had the GREAT honor of working with a birthmom who has overcome SO SO much with her husband during this time and they have worked so hard and are now expecting a baby of their own. I am so proud of her. She is coming up on her 8 month placement and I asked if she would share her story now...how she is doing...where she is and she is AMAZING! What an incredible inspiration she is to so many other birthmoms going through these same stages...and how inspired she is by so many others! To all the birthmoms out there....there are people that watch you and read what you say and look to you for strength...even if you have never met them or seen them. I admire Victoria for all that she does and for the continued example that she is to others! Here is her story:

"Dear Ashley and BIB community,
I've been getting subtle hints from Ashley for quite some time to write more about my story since I've given birth. To some degree this part of the story is harder to write than the first. It has been 8 months come the 13th of August since I placed Thomas with his sweet family, and surprisingly enough the empty feeling I thought I would feel for years to come is nonexistent. It's not that I never felt empty, or that from time to time my heart doesn't ache for what "could have been" BUT it is rare. I gave birth to one of the most handsome individuals I have ever laid eyes on, and the 3 days I spent with him in the hospital I will never forget; but I knew myself and I knew my heart, and to bond with that handsome baby maybe would have given me a different fate. I held him only for a few minutes total over the span of 3 days, but I loved watching other people give him the love and attention he needed. I have beautiful memories that I will treasure from those hours he was "mine", and I'll always be grateful for them- never will I take them for granted. The day his mother and father came to pick him up, I chose to leave before they arrived and to have my sweet mother be the witness and the last arms to hold him before he was theirs. Her bravery in the situation far succeeded my own. The parents of Thomas are people whom I will know, love, and respect for the rest of my life- not only for their new role in my life, but for the one that they have had for 20 years prior.
I feel like a new person after this experience. I feel more confident every day that I made the right decision, and that I am blessed beyond words that those two individuals and their 4 other children were willing to enter into this experience with open arms and open hearts for my sake and especially for Thomas'. I feel I owe them more than they should ever think to owe me. It was my burden from the decision I personally made that they were willing to take upon themselves, not the other way around- they are the angels. I would not change this experience for the world, I would not take him back if I could. Every time I see a picture of that wonderful family together, I just know.. I just know in my heart.. this was right, through and through- they were meant to be his parents from the beginning, I was just the means by which they would meet. I am grateful and honored to have that role. I understand now what my birth-parents may have experienced and my respect for them has soared, yet so has the respect towards my parents who raised me, I understand now it has been far from "easy". I still worry about what the future will hold, the things I may or may not have to ever explain but I hope that when the time comes things will be worded with the utmost honesty, clarity, and respect for all those involved in the stories. I am grateful for the support I have had, and still have. I am blessed beyond measurement to have the people in my life that I do, I have a very gracious and forgiving husband, a wonderful, caring family, and a BIB community who understands me and is here for me during every step of the process even for years to come. Everyone involved in the BIB community is wonderful, and for those of you that are still working through this process (because it never really ends) don't give up, don't lose hope, remember why you made this decision, and just keep going. :) You all are brilliant examples to me, though I may not know you all personally I do watch, listen, and read what you have to say, and you all help me become the person I want to be. I love you all.

Love,
Victoria Alvarado "

What is Coming Next?

Hey All -

I'm not really sure what to share with each of you today...do you ever feel this way? You know, sometimes you have so much going on in your mind that you're not even sure where to start? Or how to narrow down your thoughts? Or, maybe you don't like what you're thinking and you're afraid to say it out loud? I kind of feel like that today. I should ask you - what do you do in times like these? How do you respond? Bounce back? Move forward? I'd be interested to know your thoughts...

I think for me, it's really important to stay focused on the simple and precious things that I have in my life. It reminds of the song that is often sung during the holidays that mentions "my favorite things"...rain drops on roses, and whiskers on kittens. We really do have so many wonderful favorite things that we can focus on rather than all the negative things in on our lives or in the lives around us. I'm not saying that it's easy or that we should just sweep the negative things under the rug, but we can certainly change our point of view for a moment and lift ourselves up again and find the strength to carry on.

August has become a wonderful month for me. My son was born on August 1st, and my wife's birthday is August 29th. We get to celebrate the remaining days of summer before the air starts to chill and prepare ourselves for the fall. Baseball is in full effect as the season winds down and football is on it's way to opening kick-off! The mountain air has a little sting to it and you can just feel the leaves wanting to change. The nights are still long and the days are still hot. School is almost back, kids are excited to go, parents are excited for their kids to go, and everyone seems to be ready for what's next! It's a nice time to reflect on our own lives and see what we have going on and what's next for us.

Enjoy your moments of greatness!

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

To Thine Own Self Be True

There was an incredible post this morning on Brave Girls Club blog and I wanted to share a part of it with you. I believe this to be true...instead of looking at the talents in others as a positive effect on us we look at it as a way to judge and to bring ourselves down...to beat ourselves up for not being as good as someone else! Especially if we have been through something like placing our baby for adoption, we are already different and judged and weakened by what has happened...so strength in others just makes us feel even less than what we are! Guess what...there are always going to be people that are better than us at SOMETHING...and that is ok!...the key is to embrace their talents and goodness and gain strength in it to find something that we truly love and have passion for. Just because someone else is a runner and LOVES to run and runs in all these incredible races and trains and buys all this cool stuff DOES NOT MEAN that WE HAVE TO WANT TO BE A RUNNER! Don't do something because someone else does it really well and you are just trying to compete...or be the same! Be YOUR OWN SELF!!! If you want to run then run ..... but run for you!!! NOT to impress someone else! We all have something inside of us..something that is strong and wonderful and that makes us unique and talented and special!... Read part of this great post:

"...My friends and I were waiting outside our 3rd grade classroom for school to start. One of our friends had just gotten her ears pierced, and the rest of us had to chime in and show how cool we were, which we proved by how early in life we’d had our ears pierced. I led the group in coolness, since I’d had mine pierced on my 6th birthday – 2 entire years earlier. I was feeling pretty awesome with all of my pierced-ear experience and wisdom, when Lindsay Fisher walked up and got in line. She figured out what we were talking about and promptly shared that she’d had her ears pierced when she was a newborn. My pride deflated as she took my place on the cool list.

Looking back, those things all seem ridiculous…I mean how much does it really matter that Chelsea and I picked different kinds of pictures to color or that Tamara Jenkins’ legs were 1 millimeter smaller than mine or that I got my ears pierced 6 years later than Lindsay Fisher? The things is that while I’ve stopped asking people when they got their ears pierced, I haven’t stopped comparing myself…and more importantly letting myself feel inferior when someone seems to be better than me at this or that.

…and you do it a little too, don’t you? I’m not the only one who finds myself saying things like…..

“I wish I were….” ”I should be….” ”I could be….” ”I am definitely NOT…”
"I am going to be HAPPY for every single person in my life who is better than me at something and HAPPY for myself because there are things that I’m good at too. I can only think of one thing that would make this whole experience better, and that is if YOU would come along with me. Will you?? What are some of the things you are ready to be happy about instead of feeling guilty about?! I bet you didn’t even realize those things were making you feel that weird feeling, but now that you have and you can teach that weird feeling the TRUTH, all kinds of JOY are in store for you!!!!! "


Be true to yourself! You have an amazing YOU in there...let those around you with different talents and passions strengthen you, not weaken you!

To Thine Own Self Be True!

x0x0-Ashley

What to do with the OUCH!

As most of you know I have done a TON of soul work. I have spent the last few years of my life doing soul work...to get me back to me, to learn that I do not have to live in the yucky life that I was living...that I didn't have to settle!!! A huge inspiration for that and for a lot of the work that we are doing I credit to Melody Ross of Brave Girls. I have known Mel for many years and she is the strongest person I know! I am so grateful for the work that she has set up for me to do...I work on my soul every day and I think back to the person that I was and I can't believe that I was able to claw, stratch, bleed and cry my way out of where I was!!! I am so blessed today and I am happy! I know that so many of you are hurting and I wanted to share this incredible and powerful post by Melody....It is my prayer that you will start the soul work with us...so much more to be offered to you incredible birth moms through our RETREAT...I can't even begin to tell you how powerful the workshops are...that are designed with you in mind...to move forward...to live without the hurt! I hope you will join us...How can you put a price on getting your life back...the real life that has always been in you, waiting to come out...it truly is priceless!! Until then, take the time to read this...it will touch your soul!: (it is long...but stick with it!)
xoxo-Ashley

"Ok...please please please just hear me out and read this whole post...I have a feeling it might get a little bit long, I will try hard not to make it too long....but I want you to ESPECIALLY read it if life hurts profoundly right now...or if you know someone whose life is hurting profoundly. I will go as fast as I can. I found the above photo today when I was looking for photos of the first art journal I ever made (so I could show it to you...which I will in a minute).....the journal that started the whole journey of Brave Girls Club curriculum (before I ever knew that that's what it would someday become...before Brave Girls Club even existed anywhere but in my head and heart).....the art journal was just my own very very personal and private journey through "OUCH"....through a very hellish many-years-long period in my life that seemed like it might never end...when I broke into twenty million jagged pieces....when I lost everything I had worked for, when I lost who I thought that I was and what I thought was most valuable about me.....but when I FOUND EVERYTHING THAT MATTERED. This is the photo that comes after the photo below. I think I was planning on blogging about a shift in thinking I had experienced...I remember taking this photo and thinking about how I can put that huge OUCH so close to the front of my face so that I can not see anything else...or so that everything else is blurred out....but that what I really needed to do, is put the OUCH down with all of the other parts of my life so that I could REALLY SEE that I needed to put it all into perspective. So I did.....my OUCHES were all over the place, everything hurt...but the thing that hurt worst was the condition of my marriage and of my husband....it was first and foremost on my mind and my heart and I could not see much beyond it...even though there was a lot more to see...a lot more ouches, but a lot more goodness, joy and miracles too......so I worked really hard to put that OUCH down to see what was behind it.... I think about how broken and unfixable I felt at that time. I think about how I wondered if I would ever laugh again, if life would ever feel happy or easy ever again.....I felt lost....really really really lost. I felt desperate and I felt like my soul was living completely outside of my body. I couldn't remember my dreams and wondered if I would ever have dreams again. I felt like a failure because I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I felt like my identity was shattered. While I was once a successful businesswoman...my husband's accident and illness and all of the things that tumbled down around it were my focus......and I failed miserably at holding my business together...that identity was gone. I used to be the happy person...the positive, optimistic & carefree dreamer...where had that girl gone? I was a depressed mess. I was jaded. I would barely leave my house. That girl was gone. I was the girl with the perfect marriage.......that all got shattered into bits. This is depressing so I will not go on........but.........I could if I had to...for pages...:) What I want you to know is that I am soooooo happy these days. So so so happy. I feel at peace, I feel whole. I feel on track. I feel like I don't have to have any special kind of identity except ME.....I have let things go. I want to tell you how I did it. I want to tell you that the lessons that I learned, and the way I manifested it through art and journaling completely healed it all up....it took time, and lots of gut-wrenching honesty with myself....but it worked. Now that I have seen the THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of women who have taken Soul Restoration, and who have returned to Brave Girl Camp for second and third times....and now that I have seen the LIGHT back in the eyes of those women and the dramatic beautiful changes that have taken place in their lives because they did the work......I know for sure that I just need to keep begging YOU to give it a chance, too.
HAPPY ME = Miracles + lots of soulwork

I want you to know that there's another way to live. During that time, I honestly thought that I just had to learn to live inside of a yucky, hard, miserable life...that I had to learn how to function inside of misery and heartbreak....that my best years were definitely over. I know now...I KNOW NOW that this is not the case. I know that we can heal. We can be whole. We can forgive...ourselves and others. I know that we can start over. I know that sometimes being forced to start over is THE VERY BEST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO US. I know that sometimes the only way to get to where we are meant to be, is THROUGH things we never thought we could endure...but then, we do endure it...and then we are stronger and better and wiser and more full of everything good because of it. I know that this is true for me...I know that this can be true for you. I know FOR SURE that we are all meant to use the "wings" that we have been given..I know that we are meant to fly....not to stay stuck. Sometimes the journey from caterpillar to butterfly is profoundly confusing, painful and bleak. But it is on it's way somewhere!!!! That's the thing we must always remember.....the journey to becoming....all of it is important...the caterpillar part...the climbing around super low to the ground part....the climbing up the plant part....the becoming a cocoon part...the part when we are in the dark for a very long time turned from a caterpillar into mush (this the the part that is scary, because we often do not have any idea what is happening and it feels like we are going to die any second)..and then, the part where we get to emerge as what we were always meant to become..............(I also believe that we get to go on this journey lots of times in our lifetime..so if you have been a butterfly before and you suddenly feel like a caterpillar again, take heart...you are on your way to somewhere good!) Ok....so, I am writing this because today we are running SOUL RESTORATION PART 1 again...for the third time. We are doing this because women from all over the world are begging us to....thousands of women. Many of the women starting out in the classroom today are taking the class for their second or third times because of what it has done for them....I believe them when they tell me that it has truly been a miracle to them. I believe it because this course material is what got me through the darkest years of my life....so I took all of the things I learned in my art journals and made them into a class to take you on the same journey. It all started with me just not knowing who I was anymore....OR WHERE THE HECK I WENT...this is the very first sentence I wrote in my journal those many years ago... I wanted to know who I was if I wasn't a business success, or a successful artist, or a fun person, or a perfect wife. WHO WAS I...WHAT WAS I..when I couldn't be anything to anyone. Who was I at the core of me. Who was I when everything was stripped away and I was just a person. Working through those questions and their beautiful answers...through doing lots of art and journaling projects is what healed me.......I want that for you...and I know it is possible because I have seen it so many times now. Here are the other pages in that first journal....maybe some questions that you have asked yourself... I started asking myself some really hard questions..and then I just listened. I just got very very very quiet. I did this for years. I learned how it worked. I could hear the truth when I got very quiet...when I shut out all of the outside voices and opinions and expectations. Now...it is a fully planned-out, guided step-by-step curriculum that is fun and difficult and life-changing. It is so funny how life is. I thought I was in that cocoon, ready to die...in the dark...........I was making art in there, I had NO IDEA that I was growing wings. If you need help finding your wings....I really want you to see how this might help you. As dark as things might seem.......I promise you that there is light to be found. YOU ARE NOT LOST.....YOU ARE STILL IN THERE. YOU ARE. ....and even if you feel like you have lost all of what you are and who you are and what you thought you were and how you thought life would be......you are just right when you are just YOU. You don't have to have any other identities to have value. I bet you are tired of carrying around a backpack full of heavy rocks and burdens from the past. I bet you are tired of feeling hurt and bruised and broken. I bet you know that it is finally time to move forward and heal...to be RESTORED to who you really are. I bet you are done making excuses. I bet you are ready to do whatever it takes. So...are you ready? SOUL RESTORATION 1 started today. I promise you that it could be the very best $99 you have ever spent. If you commit to doing all of the lessons, watching EVERY video and plowing through it even when it is hard or uncomfortable....it will truly be a life-changing, life-enhancing, joy-producing, PEACE-making experience for you. I have seen it happen to too many thousands of women to tell you otherwise. ok....so....................now there's no excuse for you to not do this!!! Give up a few coffees every week, or sell a piece of art...have a yard sale! ......you are worth it....even if you thought there was no way because things are so financially bleak...there's a way. You can do this. You are worth this. We just got back from 2 Brave Girl Camps, back to back....I talked to so many of YOU there.....I saw the light in your eyes. I saw the what the miracle of embracing the TRUTH about ourselves can do....I saw complete restoration............... and... on the way back from one of our mountain walks.....I saw THIS.....my husband, sitting out on the car, waiting for me to get back: and while I was walking to him....I thought about the journey we had been on together...I thought about how long I had to WAIT.....how hard that waiting was...how much work I had to do while I was waiting. I thought about how the best things in life are not very often the easiest things, but that they are still the best. I thought about how every single one of those tears was worth the journey that I was on..........worth what I would learn...worth what I did learn.....worth what I get to do now. Worth how blissful, happy, peaceful, lovely, fun and wonderful life feels now....I want that for you.
My friends...........if it's time....then just do it...no more excuses, ok? If it's not time, we will be here waiting whenever you are ready. I know it's scary to decide to finally heal from things that have hurt for so long......but, it is SO WORTH IT. It's time for you to show the world those beautiful wings of yours!!! "

Read more about what Melody and the Brave Girls are doing HERE

Shared Thoughts on Strength

As you know, BIB has teamed up with BlissBombed to provide life coaching for our birthmoms with one of the MOST INCREDIBLE WOMEN that you will ever, ever meet! I have SO much to share with you on the lifecoaching that I have been getting from Stephanie but for now I wanted to share a powerful post that she wrote:

"Having recently gone through a bit of a dark period, I thought I might share some musings on strength. Much of what I learned this time around was shown to me by the love of those who loved me through, and in the contrast of my usual buoyancy.

Contrast. Black versus white. Empty versus full. Despair versus hope. Contrast. One learns a lot about what is, by living in the shadow of what’s not.

We each have a different approach against hopeless odds….and finding our inner strength.

Some of us are able to perserve against hopeless odds. Some are able to see light in a world of darkness. Some are able to give selflessly with no thought of return, while others are able to bring a sense of important measure into the hearts of those around them.

But no matter how we exhibit strength, its truest measure is the calm and certain conviction with which it causes us to act. It is the ability to discern the path with heart and follow it even when at the moment we might wish to be doing something else.

True strength is not about force, but about conviction. It lives at the center of belief where fear and uncertainty can not gain a foothold. Its opposite is not cowardice and fear but confusion, lack of clarity, and lack of sound intention.

True strength does not require an adversary and does not see itself as noble or heroic. It simply does what it must without praise or need of recognition.

A person who can quietly stay at home and care for an aging parent is as strong as a person who can scale a vertical drop mountain. A person who can stand up for a principle is as strong as a person who can fend off an army. They simply have a quieter, less dramatic kind of strength.

True strength does not magnify others’ weaknesses. It makes others stronger. If someone’s strength makes others feel weaker, it is merely domination, and that is not strength at all.

Take care to find your own strength. Nurture it. Develop it. Share it with those around you. Let it become a light for those who are living in darkness.

Remember, strength based in force is a strength people fear. Strength based in love is a strength people crave.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. To be the benefactor of both virtues makes living in the contrast, I have found, a worthy endeavor. "

This does not even BEGIN to cover the amazing work that can be done...we are so excited to share some of the workshops that she will be providing at our Big Tough Girl retreats...but for those of you that wont be able to attend...she has lots to offer! Stay tuned for my lifecoaching experiences....until then.....

Fresh Air Children

We get emails from businesses and organizations all the time asking if we will post something about what they are doing....and sometimes we don't feel like they keep with the integrity of BIB. Yesterday I received an email from the FRESH AIR FUND. It is so wonderful to come across a group of individuals who are doing what they can to better the lives of children all over the world.

Fresh Air is looking for 850 host families for children to share a summer experience of a lifetime! You can go HERE for more information about becoming a host!

"Host families are volunteers who open their hearts and homes to children from the city to give them a Fresh Air experience that can change lives. If you could help to get the word out it would really help us place these wonderful children into a loving host family. It's only for up to two weeks, but it's an experience that can change their lives forever."
~Sara Wilson

BitterSweet

It is truly amazing how life can be so bittersweet. Let me give you some examples. About 15 months ago my friend of 15 years and fiancé of 2 years broke up with me/cheated on me. Then 2-3 weeks later a mutual church friend set me up with a guy named Brian. The day after Thanksgiving we went on a day trip to do some sight seeing. He proposed to me that day! Less than 12 hours later my Grandfather passed away (my Mom’s Father). Brian and I are getting married in 6 days! Unfortunately my other Grandfather passed away this morning. It has been during these times that I have tried hard to focus on the positive things happening in my life. It does not mean there is no suffering/crying. I was reminded though in an email today that my Grandfather would want me to be happy and move on having fun with the wedding. There is a scripture in the bible that I have remembered since I was pregnant. Sorry I don’t remember the verse. ‘Blessed are all they who mourn for they shall be comforted’.

Keeping with my theme. The baby that I placed for adoption is having a special birthday in a few hours. I am very excited about it. I know I will be thinking about him and his family all day. There may be some tears but mainly happy tears and smiles. There are so many emotions going on right now. There is something I have learned over the years of being a birth mom. So much of the emotional part of placing him was dealing with the mental. Talking, journaling, listening to others experiences, pay it forward, and tell yourself that you are so loved. Tonight I read my journal. I just read some of the last month of my pregnancy. That was a lot actually. I wrote every night and sometimes it was pages long. It started to become too much for me emotionally this year. I think because of my Grandfather’s passing today. I do have a lot to look forward to this week and I will celebrate this special birthday tomorrow. I always encourage you all to journal. There will be days of inspirational journal reading.

Happy Independence Day to you all. I hope loved ones surround you!

This post was done by April Morgan

FIREWORK

I recently spoke at a birth mom support group in Mesa, Arizona and referenced Katy Perry's song "Fireworks" as a source of motivation to all of us. I would suggest that this year on the fourth of July we take an extra long and special look at the fireworks that own the night as Katy describes in her song. Really pay attention to detail, to the color, to the massive amounts of power and authority, and muscle they provide. Listen to each of the different sounds, pay attention to the different patterns, focus on the fact that every person lying underneath them is watching them, enjoying them, loving them, fearing them, giving them all the attention they deserve because of the power they have to convey a message of hope, love, freedom, sacrifice, honor, courage, commitment, and so many other reasons for our wonderful and free country that we live in. Emulate them, copy them, be as the fireworks you watch this fourth of July and make a difference in the night sky. Stand for something special. Provide love and support and hope and peace for someone else's dark night. Be a light in someone else's life. Shine brightly before the world and be a voice of strength and courage and optimism. Be proud to be an American where at least you know you're free. Be proud of the stars and stripes that give you liberty. Own you citizenship as an American and this fourth of July and pass along the opportunities that come with it.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

Being a Parent

It was Father's Day this past weekend and it was very special for me. My son will be two this year and I'm a very proud dad. I also spent a lot of time thinking about my dad this past weekend and all of the wonderful love and support that he has shown me throughout my entire life. Not only did he teach me correct principles in life, and live up to those himself, he was and still is one of my best friends. We do just about everything together! When I look at my son, I can't help but to hope and wish that we have the same type of connection and relationship that I do with my father. I know that if I work on being a positive role model and respect him with the same amount of respect that I expect from him, then we will develop a deep love for each other.
There are many thoughts and feelings of insecurity that travel in and out of my mind in regards to being a parent, how to be a good dad, how to teach and discipline my son, and to be the kind of parent that he thinks I am or wants me to be. It's easy to get caught up in those thoughts and stress about the future, rather than just live in the moment that is happening now, love him now, teach him now, discipline him now and allow the love between us to grow RIGHT NOW.

I would suggest to ALL OF US, that we take the beautiful moments we have in life and really live in those moments and be proud of the work we are doing and cherish them as they will pass by so quickly.

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

Summer Fun

This summer is full of excitement, adventure, and change. I recently graduated college with a degree in Social Work. I am looking for a job and hope to one day work in adoption. I knew as soon as I placed my son for adoption that Social Work was my calling in life. I finally did it and it feels great. It is never too late to get an education. I am also getting married the beginning of July! That is keeping me very busy but I am enjoying the process. At one point I thought I would never get an education, never get married, and never have children. In my mind I thought if I was not married by 25 it was too late for me. I am 31 and feel like this is the perfect time for all of this to be happening. This summer the baby I placed is turning 12. It has been an amazing 12 years. I am very blessed and grateful for the joy he brings me. At placement I was given a gift to carry with me on my wedding day and I finally get that opportunity soon! It's never too late to fight for your dreams, get an education, find your true love, look for that perfect job, start your family, and as talked about last month... LIVE THE LIFE YOU IMAGINE!! Above all please try to have a wonderful fun summer. Make sure you take time for you. Love yourself, put your feet up, and watch a good movie every now and then.

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time". ~John Lubbock

This post was done by April Morgan

Mesa Event

When Ashley invited me to the BIB event in Mesa I was so excited to attend. That was until we decided to go on a road trip with our kids to see family. We spent a busy week trying to see everyone and do all the things we had planned. We headed home on Monday and my boys were not very excited about the 12 hour trip. We arrived home late Monday night. I had a week’s worth of laundry, unpacking, and figuring my kid’s schedule for the week. The thought of getting in a car and driving the four hour round trip to Phoenix didn’t sound very exciting. It was so worth it.
Arriving at the event was so rewarding. You girls are so amazing. I loved the theme “Living the life you dream”. We all have the opportunity to live the life we dream. We just need to live our dream. At this moment in time I’m living the life I dream. Not sure how long this will last but for now it’s really great. I loved the things Todd had to say. I love the song from Katy Perry and the lyrics. You can make the decision to be invisible or light up the sky like a firework. It only depends on you.
One of the things I loved was watching the love and support you have for each other. It was so fun talking to you, getting to know you, learning your story and seeing where you’re at in your life. I also loved setting a goal with April (I can’t wait until July 2012). I love all of you wonderful birth moms. You have given so much of yourself. Remember you can LIVE THE LIFE YOU DREAM.

This post was done by Becky Tanner

Living the Life you Imagine!

Before you read April's post I just wanted to tell her how much I love her and how touched I was by this post...she is so sweet and strong and amazing. We are so lucky to have her working with BIB and I love her so much!!! Thank you April...you deserve EVERYTHING that is happening to you..embrace it, enjoy it.....xoxoxo- Ashley







I was honored to be with Ashley, Todd, and their family for the birth mom event at LDSFS in Mesa. It was awesome to be with all of the birth moms/potential birth moms. I was hanging on every word that Todd and Ashley had to say. I believe I lost count on how many times Ashley made me cry. She is an amazing woman and such an inspiration/support to so many. Ashley, as I sat there and listened to your story I had no idea just how much you and I have in common. It is truly unbelievable. Ashley’s story is indicative of how we can live the life we imagine. Twelve years ago when I placed my son for adoption I had no idea things could be as good for me as they are now. At that time I focused on what was best for my son. Recently I have focused on what I want. I just graduated college with a Social Work degree and in two months I am getting married in the Temple. I thought things like this happen to other people but not to me. The point is that it can happen. Now is the time to focus on the life YOU imagine. Figure out what you want and go get it. Do not be discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately either. Here I am 12 years later and everything is happening all at once. I struggled when I didn’t get married and succeed in college right after placing my son. Stay focused and enjoy getting there. Now I am going to be focusing my time not just on me but also on my marriage and on my career as a Social Worker. Enjoy the ride Big Tough Girls!! Thank you all!










This post was done by April Morgan

Life's principles are Universal

To you all -

While I was on the airplane my mind was racing as I was trying to organize what seemed like ten thousand different thoughts going in ten thousand different directions. For someone who tries to keep himself pretty organized - I was all over the place! In less than 3 hours I was about to stand in front of a group of women who, quite frankly had very little in common with me and I was supposed to speak and motivate and inspire them to reach their potential when, quite frankly, I had no real way of relating to them. I mean, really - how does a husband, father and man relate to a birth mom? Well, I don't have the answers, but under this big huge sky that we all live, the world is actually quite small and so intimately connected. The universal principles of life that I learned the night of my speech was just that...they are UNIVERSAL! It doesn't matter if you're chasing dreams in Hollywood, practicing law at Harvard, or are a stay at home birth mom mother - the principles of hard work, sacrifice, love, respect, patient, long suffering, and having a kind heart will help in our efforts to become a stronger human being and provide a stronger more fulfilling life!

It's Mother's Day this month. Because of your sacrifice, you've given women around the country, that aren't as fortunate as others, the opportunity to be mothers. May God bless you eternally for the gift!

xoxo - Todd

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

The Joys of Easter

The Joys of Easter: One of the best things about living where I do is attending the Easter pageant at the LDS Temple in Mesa, Arizona. It is a powerful thing that takes so much dedication and love from all those involved. It is called Jesus the Christ and is one of the largest outdoor Easter pageants in the World. It runs from April 13th to April 23rd except for Sunday and Monday. It is sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the pageant represents the King James Version of the Bible. The pageant is a one-hour presentation and it represents the Resurrection of the Savior instead of focusing mainly on the Crucifixion. The stage is 9,600 sq. ft. and is four stories high. There are 450 cast members that volunteer to be part in the pageant. Up to 12,000 visitors attend each night from all different cultures, religions, locations, ages, and nationalities. The performance starts at 8:00 each night and are available in English, Spanish, and ASL (American Sign Language). Admission is FREE! For more information, please visit http://www.easterpageant.org/.


Last weekend I was at the park across the street from the Mesa LDS Temple for a big activity with my internship. I was at a table that was set up as such that I was able to not only see the Temple the entire time but I was also able to watch the cast members practice for the Easter pageant. It was a wonderful experience. The pageant is truly amazing beyond words and I sometimes take for granted how lucky I am that I am 15 minutes away. There is no way to hold back the tears even after the many many times I have seen it. The first time I saw the Easter pageant was when I was 14 years old. I lived in New Mexico at the time and we did not have a Temple yet at that time. We traveled to Mesa Arizona for our Temple trip that year. We were lucky enough to be there at the time of the Easter Pageant. It was an amazing experience. I did not see it again until I was 20 years old and living here. At that time I had placed my son for adoption the year before. I looked at the presentation of the Resurrection of the Savior and felt warmth. The warmth of the Saviors love for me and for my difficult decision. There are only so many out there (the Savior is included) that truly have done something so incredibly painful because of our love for someone else. I encourage you to turn to the Savior for comfort and love because He will always be there. Remember what Easter is all about. Remember the Resurrection and remember that you have the chance to make your life what you want it to be!















This post was done by April Morgan

Big Tough Girl 5K

To you all -

The first annual BIB 5k will be here before you know it! I've learned many important lessons in my physical training, but there are very few more important than learning how to listen to your body. We are all different in personality, right?! Just because I read a book and like it, does not mean that you will like that same book, or eat the same kinds of food, or watch the same kinds of movies. Our bodies are also uniquely different. We come in all different shapes and sizes and we all have different challenges that we face. Understanding what those are and recognizing ways in which we can cater to those needs will help us train better, be more efficient in our efforts and be more healthy over all.

The BIB 5k is a great opportunity to commit to living a healthier lifestyle. Use the 5k as a chance to focus on your physical bodies over the next few months. Write down some goals, be very specific, and then act accordingly. Whether it be changing your eating habits, increasing your cardio, intensifying your workouts - make small and subtle changes and over the course of time you will see great results.

The best piece of advice I can give you is this: If you want to race fast you have to train fast. You cannot show up on race day and do what you haven't done in training. Yes, you'll have adrenaline and the excitement of the race carry you a certain distance, but if you have not put the training hours into it, then you will suffer physically. Listen to your bodies. Pay attention to what is happening with them. Be good to them, but push them. They are and will be very resilient...so push hard! Good luck and I hope to see you all at our first annual BIB 5k race!

Cheers, Todd

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

You are Amazing!

I love this time of year. The flowers are blooming and the weather is perfect in Arizona. When I was a kid I loved the Easter Egg Hunt with all my cousins and the annual softball game. I loved waking up Easter morning to a basket full of candy and a new outfit. My kids don’t have the same family memories as we have never lived close to family. This year we are actually going to travel to be with our family for Easter for the first time ever. We have already planned the egg hunt and Easter dinner. I am so excited to spend this time with our family. What is most exciting is my oldest son moved away a year ago and I haven’t seen him since September and we will get to spend this time with him. I am so proud of him for surviving his first year living on his own. What a great accomplishment this is for him. We all have things that we’ve accomplished in our lives and we need to celebrate them. At this time of year as we celebrate Easter we should celebrate ourselves. We are all unique and wonderful. You need to spend time reflecting on your life and all the great things you do. As a mom I think about all the great things my kids do and try and praise them that at times I forget about all the good things I do. I have great friends and family that remind me of some of them. I’m going to spend some time this month journaling them so I can reflect on them. My challenge to you is spend some time this month looking at how amazing you are and writing these things down in your journal. I hope to see you in Arizona at our BIG TOUGH GIRL event. When I do I’m going to ask you about all the great things you’ve accomplished in your life. So get your lists ready I know I’ll have mine. I love all you wonderful girls.













This post was done by Becky Tanner

Happiest Place on Earth!

Over the last couple of months we have been in and out of town a lot. We have been with our kids and without our kids. We have made some really great memories and have had a ton of fun. However something that I have realized is that the best memories that we make and the most fun that we have is when we are right in our home. Home truly is the "Happiest Place On Earth". It is the place that we all gather together at the end of the day. It is the place where each individual can really be themselves. It is a place where everyone feels the most loved. What a wonderful thing to be a part of. I am so lucky to have a home and my family to share it with.

This post was done by Angie Houston

Celebrate a Life

Hello everyone -

So, March is a special month to me because it's my birthday! I don't care how old I get, birthdays are still special to me. I think it's truly the one day of the year we have an excuse to be a little bit selfish...I don't mean errogant, but maybe a little selfish. I've had some unbelievable birthdays over the past 33 years, and some awesome gifts given to me. I'm grateful for all the wonderful people that have helped celebrate my life with me on my special day.

As I think about birthdays I can't help but to think about life and the celebration of a new one. Each of you are in a unique position, if not the most unique, to not only give life physically to a beautiful soul, but also give a better life and possibly the most precious gift in the world to someone else who doesn't have the ability to do so. As challenging as things may become, consider yourself an amazing human being because of what you've done, the sacrifice you've made and the beautiful gift of life you've given!

March is also one of my favorites because it's the beginning of spring and the beginning of a new season. It can be very symbolic in your own life, as the weight of winter starts to die, and the cold feelings start to fade, spring brings in a new fresh beginning, a new bounce in your step, a happy, positive light is shed on your life. I would encourage each of you this spring to shed off the cold and dark of winter and refresh your life! Bring sunshine and light to your beautiful life this spring!

Carry on!

Todd

This post was done by Todd Mitchell

It Starts with Attitude!

Development of a positive mental attitude is essential.

The most important decision we make in our lives is the attitude we choose to express each day when dealing with people or circumstances. This critical choice determines success or failure in life. The key is the realization that we choose. That’s right. You purposefully choose your attitude. Choosing a positive state of mind will lead to virtually unlimited success in your career and your life. A negative attitude will lead to unhappiness, poor relationships, difficulty at work and ultimately, poor health. In fact, the most common causes of death in the United States are heart disease and cancer, which are related to stress. Stress is a result of a negative attitude, carried out via perceptions, choices and behaviors.
By: Thomas Young, MBA

People like to be around positive people. Be around positive uplifting people. You will be more successful and happy in your relationships. Take responsibility for your life and do not blame others first and for most. There are a lot of things in life that we do not have control over. Our attitude is something we can control and give us a feeling of power. Choose wisely and reap the rewards. Choose unwisely and miss out on so many wonderful joys this world has to offer. Make those important to you proud and most of all make yourself proud.

So many things in our lives do not turn out exactly how we want them to. “We may have hoped for a different outcome, but face the facts in a positive light and move on”. Help yourself and help others. If you don't like the way something is being done, be proactive and change whatever it is that you don't like! Some things I like to do is before bed listen to nature sounds or soft music and you will sleep better. In the morning wake up to upbeat music that makes you smile. Also, put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that says I am going to have a good day today!

When you are having a bad day, and have a lot to complain about. Please keep in mind Jesus' last day.

The post was done by April Morgan

Love is all around!

When I think of February it makes me think of love. What is love? Where does it come from? I think throughout our life we have many different experiences pertaining to love. When we are young we love our parents and siblings. As we grow older we experience the love of friends and then the first love of our life or so we think. Then we find our true love and get married. Then we have children and fall in love with them before we ever give birth to them. After we have our first child we wonder if we could ever love another child in the same way and just like magic we love that child just as much.
I was lucky enough to work closely with our first birth mother Kristina. We spent lots of time together throughout her journey to place her daughter for adoption. I can honestly say I love this girl so much. We have had a lot of discussions about her decision. I think of the unconditional love she has for that little girl. She knew the decision she made was the right one. Was this a hard decision, absolutely! I can only imagine the pain she went through.
On the other side I have seen this little baby girl with her new family and the love they have for her. How her brothers love and kiss her. How her parents cuddle and love her. I know that the decision to give a child up is a hard one. I feel that hard as it may be this is a good decision. There is a family longing for a child to love as you would.
As you think of February think of the love you have for all those around you. How lucky you are to love so many people and how many people love you.

This post was done by Becky Tanner