OW@TC-Week 1 complete!

Oh my goodness my dear friends!!!! you are all going to die at what I did today!!!! Oh my gosh…I am still at shock at myself…my sister was in shock…EVERY ONE was in shock! hahahaha….So I have been MIA today BECAUSE…………………………………………………………..

I was at my friends house from 7:30 this morning until 5:30 this evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had such a blessed day…I have been in tears all night with my husband talking through my feelings about today…
My anxiety was KILLING me this morning….it is crippling. I was in tears and I did NOT want to go…I felt ugly and fat and was so worried about what she was going to think of me…has been ten years since I have seen her….I have been through so much…on my third marriage, placed a baby for adoption…OH MY GOSH I could go on and on and on….and I was embarrassed of myself!!! HOW SAD!!!! Life is good for me now and I adore my husband and my daughter is amazing….AND STILL I was ashamed and was SO SCARED…..
I kept thinking something that Mel was saying about how our past is NOT WHO WE ARE……the things that have happened to me have helped shape me but I AM NOT MY PAST!!!! and I was so scared….but I went and we laughed and cried and reminisced and our daughters played and we CONNECTED!!!!! She had been through things…I had been through things….NO JUDGEMENT!!!!
She wanted to get to know me…who I am now and was so proud of me and my journey!!!
It was an incredible experience….I know that it will take a lot of work to maintain this feelign and connection but I am excited to make the effort to put in the work (which is leading into my week 2 goal)….coming on Monday….

I feel so good….I am EXHAUSTED!!!!! It was an emotional day….but I am proud of myself for going and staying ALL DAY!!!! hahahaha!!!! CRAZY STUFF!!!!

I love you all and your support and motivation totally played a HUGE role in getting me there!!! I love you all so much!!

So….Ashley 1 Fear and Anxiety 0