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Monday, December 6, 2010

Big Tough Girl-Victoria

I am so moved by these incredible women and their stories! I am so blessed and am so honored to be able to call these big tough girls my friends!! They truly are amazing and go through unspeakable hard things to get to the other side...I am committed to do my best to honor them, support them and love them throughout their lives...Thank you for trusting in me! I am so humbled right now...

My name is Victoria Alvarado and I am currently 38 weeks pregnant, 19 years old, married, and have made the decision to put my baby boy up for adoption. This is my story concerning how I got to this place in my life and the support I’ve received from those who love me and Blessings in a Basket. The story really begins many years ago with the onset of the strange relationship I had with the birth father. Something about the “connection” I thought I had with him during my freshman and sophomore years of high school were always unsettling with friends and many members of my family. Those who were the most concerned about me were quite relieved when he was moved because of current situations in his life. Right before my senior year I re-met up with my future husband after a six year gap. We dated for eleven months and were married shortly after my high school graduation in May. We were happy (of course), clearly still living life in the honeymoon stage of our marriage up until he deployed to Iraq in October of 2009. I had started college that August at Utah Valley University and had made the game plan before he left to stay as busy as possible with homework and rely on my family, friends, and husband for all the emotional support that I required. Everything was going as planned. School was a great distraction to being alone, I was making excellent grades, meeting new people, and for the first time in years getting along with my parents (who when my husband deployed I moved back in with). Then at around the time I began my second semester at college I ran into the birth father, whom I hadn’t seen in three years and at that point my entire world seemed to change. A mutual friend of mine and the birth father’s from our past was the one who exchanged our numbers, and from that moment on I began to forget who I was and what I stood for, and quite frankly who I truly and deeply loved; my husband and my parents. I believe that without that cell phone contact between myself and the birth father things would have been completely different. The more I began to talk to him the more I began to think that he was the “right” guy for me and the more he seemed to convince me that my husband wasn’t taking care of me the way that he should have been. The relationship then became stronger and continued for the next few months, and then in April of 2010 I found out that I was pregnant. My husband was the first person that I told I was expecting a child, and shortly after that we began to make arrangements for a divorce. It wasn’t until the end of June of 2010 that my husband came to me and asked me to stay with him and told me that he was willing to forgive me and raise the baby I was carrying as if it was his own. At that point (after still many trials) we were able to reconnect under the same love that had brought us together almost two years ago. With the intervention of my parents, siblings, and husband the birth father was moved to a different city to receive more help for experiences from his past. With him out of the picture and me being able to think and see clearly without input from him or his family, I was able to see and understand the entirety of my situation, the severity of the direction my life was heading had I not stayed with my husband, and the number of people who were truly worried about my safety and who loved and support me and always would even though I had made several decisions that hurt them. The decision to place my baby boy up for adoption was not made until my husband returned home from Iraq in September of 2010. We decided to place the baby with a wonderful family whom we both knew and felt could give him everything he deserved and required, and could love him and cherish him without any bias or memories of a darker past. After we had made the decision to place the baby up for adoption my cousin told me of a woman who had gone through a similar situation; who had given her baby boy up for adoption and had started a blog with many helpful and supporting resources for birth mothers. That is how I came to know about Blessings in a Basket. I had never been a part of a group of people that loved and cared for girls that didn’t know that are or have been in or a part of an adoption situation before. The instant love and support I felt from Ashley even the first time I spoke with her was a positive and reassuring feeling that I will get through this. Blessings in a Basket truly has been like the name states; a blessing. The careful though they put into each basket they send to a birth mother is remarkable and priceless. Every birth mother and her story is unique and important, and the love you receive from the staff is real, sincere, and available whenever it is needed. The family to whom we have chose to put so much faith and trust in to raise this precious little boy has proven countless times over that this is the home he was intended for. There have been several small miracles in my life and in the adoptive mothers life that have made this adoption feel more like a gift than a burden. I know deep in my hear that these people are my son’s true parents and that their children are the siblings that are going to love and guide him through the rest of his life.

Read other birth mom Testimonials

1 comment:

  1. Tori,
    What a strong and beautiful woman you are. Your baby boy is extremely blessed to have two such loving mothers.
    I stand in awe of the commitment you and Anthony have to taking, not the easy path, but the higher one. My love to both of you.


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