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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Another Birth Mom's answers...

I know you all get sick of hearing from me...so one brave birth mom decided to answer these questions and send them to us!! We want to hear from all of you...this is incredibly powerful stuff...it is changing lives every single day!! We love you so much...

1) - How old are you?


2) - Did you think about the concequences before you decided to have unprotected sex and if so, what did you think about?

Growing up in an LDS family the term sex was never brought up. . It was discussed as “Premarital sex” in family and church lessons and never do I remember my teachers or parents talking about the consequences of having sex, especially unprotected sex. I don’t blame my parents or my teachers for never brining up the topic but I think I would have had a better understanding of it I would have been more careful. I didn’t think that I could ever get pregnant. It never really occurred to me until I found out that I was. (You can only imagine how I felt) While most Young Women in my church wanted to be mom’s and pop out 3 or more babies I would just roll my eyes and think to myself that’s not the life for me.

3) - Where is the father?

The father, my boyfriend is in California at the moment. He works, goes to school and plays college basketball. We were only dating for about 3 weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. I was terrified to tell him, I thought that he would up and leave me. But he didn’t. He has supported me from the beginning. I am extremely lucky to have him to have him in my life.

4) - Why are you choosing to give the baby up for adoption?

Because I love her and I want what’s best for her. I knew that if we decided to keep her (I’m speaking for both Ray and myself) that we would have struggled to support her. Ray would have had to drop out of school and pick up two more jobs, living in California is not cheap and I would have to put my education on hold as well and soon pick up a job for myself. It’s not that Ray and I couldn’t have taken care of her, but struggling sounded miserable and that wasn’t something that I wanted my daughter to be around. She deserves much more than that.

5) - Knowing you're the mom, how will you cope with missing birthdays, swim lessons, bike lessons, baseball games, dance recitals, lip stick, first dates, high school graduation, etc?

I’ve never really thought deeply about this and I probably will have something more to say after I have baby, but the thing that I have had to cope with is probably her birthday. The day she’s going to come into this life. I don’t know when that day is and right now that’s pretty hard to cope with.

6) - Who is your support system? Tell us about those relationships?

My biggest support system would have to be my mother. I left California to be with her. I knew that I would need her support and wisdom of brining in babies, since she has brought in five and throughout this whole pregnancy process I think that it has made our relationship stronger. Also my older sister Jolene in California, she is very proud at what I’m doing and I’ve always looked up to her and for her to say that makes me feel really good.

7) - Do you think you'll ever have kids again?

I still don’t understand why any woman would want to put her body through this for NINE months. Hahaa. But after being pregnant and going through the ups and a lot of downs I could eventually see myself having more kids. I love babies though, I want to steal everyone’s baby. I know that someday down the road I will have more kids. When I’m ready.

8) - What are the lessons that you've learned throughout this whole process?

That it’s okay to make mistakes. I thought that having this baby was a mistake, that she and I was a mistake. I’ve learned that I do make mistakes one’s that will effect me for the rest of my life and some little enough to slide under the rug. I’ve learned that having this baby is not a mistake. It’s a gift because I know that I am going to be giving a gift that exceeds all other gifts. The gift of life and giving life is never a mistake.

9) - How would you advise a friend that was in the same position you are in? What would you tell them to do?

I don’t really know what I would say. We all have different stories, like my cousin. All I would have to say is “What do you think is best for the child?”

10) - Do you have any regrets about your decision?

I have not felt regret for the decision I’m about to make and I honestly don’t know how I will feel after. My boyfriend Ray says that he doesn’t want to regret the decision that we are making. . For him to say that makes me feel like he is already starting to regret.

11) - What do your peers and your family members think about it all?

One of the reasons why I left California was to get away from my peers, so they really don’t know anything about me and my decision. All of my family knows and they support me in what I am doing. I have a cousin who is older than I and she put her baby up for adoption and I have cousins that are adopted and adoption is not scarce in my family and they love and support me all the way.

12) - What do you hope for in regards to your child's life?

That she knows that what I did for her was out of love. That she knows she was sent from Heavenly Father to me to give her to her family.

13) - How does what you're doing in giving this baby up, make a better life for this individual?

Like Ashely said Family.

14) - Why did you pick the family you did?

I’ve known the Holmes family for some time now, through the church. I babysat their two adopted boys Nathan and Connor. Seeing what type of parents they have become to their boys has comforted me and it’s the lifestyle that I would want for my daughter.

15) - What was your number one criteria in picking a family and why?

A mom and a dad was probably the main criteria. My parents were divorced and I know what it feels like to not grow up with my dad. Not only will she have a loving mother and father but she will have two big brothers.

16) - If you had one thing to say to the new family picking up the baby, what would it be?

All I could probably say is take care of her for me and tell her everyday that she is loved.

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