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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

8 Months After Placement!

Hello Everyone!
We have several BIB Birthmoms that are hitting that 8 month date after placement! I have been so proud of these woman, to watch them, to read what they are up to, to hear their sadness, their fears, their joys and the love that they have. I have had the GREAT honor of working with a birthmom who has overcome SO SO much with her husband during this time and they have worked so hard and are now expecting a baby of their own. I am so proud of her. She is coming up on her 8 month placement and I asked if she would share her story now...how she is doing...where she is and she is AMAZING! What an incredible inspiration she is to so many other birthmoms going through these same stages...and how inspired she is by so many others! To all the birthmoms out there....there are people that watch you and read what you say and look to you for strength...even if you have never met them or seen them. I admire Victoria for all that she does and for the continued example that she is to others! Here is her story:

"Dear Ashley and BIB community,
I've been getting subtle hints from Ashley for quite some time to write more about my story since I've given birth. To some degree this part of the story is harder to write than the first. It has been 8 months come the 13th of August since I placed Thomas with his sweet family, and surprisingly enough the empty feeling I thought I would feel for years to come is nonexistent. It's not that I never felt empty, or that from time to time my heart doesn't ache for what "could have been" BUT it is rare. I gave birth to one of the most handsome individuals I have ever laid eyes on, and the 3 days I spent with him in the hospital I will never forget; but I knew myself and I knew my heart, and to bond with that handsome baby maybe would have given me a different fate. I held him only for a few minutes total over the span of 3 days, but I loved watching other people give him the love and attention he needed. I have beautiful memories that I will treasure from those hours he was "mine", and I'll always be grateful for them- never will I take them for granted. The day his mother and father came to pick him up, I chose to leave before they arrived and to have my sweet mother be the witness and the last arms to hold him before he was theirs. Her bravery in the situation far succeeded my own. The parents of Thomas are people whom I will know, love, and respect for the rest of my life- not only for their new role in my life, but for the one that they have had for 20 years prior.
I feel like a new person after this experience. I feel more confident every day that I made the right decision, and that I am blessed beyond words that those two individuals and their 4 other children were willing to enter into this experience with open arms and open hearts for my sake and especially for Thomas'. I feel I owe them more than they should ever think to owe me. It was my burden from the decision I personally made that they were willing to take upon themselves, not the other way around- they are the angels. I would not change this experience for the world, I would not take him back if I could. Every time I see a picture of that wonderful family together, I just know.. I just know in my heart.. this was right, through and through- they were meant to be his parents from the beginning, I was just the means by which they would meet. I am grateful and honored to have that role. I understand now what my birth-parents may have experienced and my respect for them has soared, yet so has the respect towards my parents who raised me, I understand now it has been far from "easy". I still worry about what the future will hold, the things I may or may not have to ever explain but I hope that when the time comes things will be worded with the utmost honesty, clarity, and respect for all those involved in the stories. I am grateful for the support I have had, and still have. I am blessed beyond measurement to have the people in my life that I do, I have a very gracious and forgiving husband, a wonderful, caring family, and a BIB community who understands me and is here for me during every step of the process even for years to come. Everyone involved in the BIB community is wonderful, and for those of you that are still working through this process (because it never really ends) don't give up, don't lose hope, remember why you made this decision, and just keep going. :) You all are brilliant examples to me, though I may not know you all personally I do watch, listen, and read what you have to say, and you all help me become the person I want to be. I love you all.

Victoria Alvarado "


  1. Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. One of your lines struck me, "I would not take him back if I could". Honestly, I feel the same way about my daughter. I struggle with "what could have been" and do mourn not being able to parent her. But I do not regret bringing her into this world and providing her with her amazing parents and family. Congratulations on your baby-to-be!

  2. I just happened to come across this blog and am so glad that I did. I happen to be a Birthmom and its been almost 3 months since I placed my sweet baby girl. Its definitely been a challenging and hard time for me, but I'm truly grateful for my daughter's amazing family that she is now apart of and the love they have.

    This blog has already helped me in many ways. I also enjoyed this precious letter from Victoria. Its so nice to know someone who knows exactly what you are going through.


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