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Monday, April 18, 2011

Being a Truthteller is a Lonely Business

BIB was set up to share our stories, to show other birth moms that there are so many others out there that are going through the same things...from the pregnancy itself, to the decision of adoption vs. abortion vs. keeping, from family humility, birth father drama and the list goes on.

Part of the healing process is being able to be honest with yourself in ALL aspects of your situation. We have been able to share so many Big Tough Girl stories that were VERY hard to share but they were willing, knowing that it will help them heal as well as help another that is going through the same thing. Being open about a story like this is a touchy subject. It is one that most people have a hard time accepting, dealing with, supporting.

It is a lonely and humiliating road.... I have shared many things with you that have made me look horrible in many eyes..I have written over and over about my drinking, my failed marriages, depression, family, birth fathers, selfishness and so much more. It was until last night and this morning that I stopped for just a second and questioned what it was that I was doing... I had a very unpleasant response from someone about one of my posts. I was sent hate mail and was threatened on facebook. Threatened that my business was going to be shut down and that I better do what was asked....the was the last "polite" offer.

It doesn't matter who it was from but I must say that it did for half a second make me take pause. And then I realized....I am just telling my story! I tyring to help...tell the truth...tell the facts...shared heartbreaking moments, happy moments, scary moments, realizing moments with those girls that we LOVE so much..you know all sides of me...the good, the bad and the ugly!!

It is not easy to stand and tell your story! It is not easy to admit things that we have done and it is not easy when so many people around you are hurtful and will do anything to see you fail.

My name is Ashley, I am a birth mom, I got pregnant by someone who was the WRONG GUY. I drank and was depressed and I take medication and I am dealing with cancer and I love my husband and I am a mother and I love my son and I love my Father in Heaven and I am ashamed some days but I am a truthteller...

I hope you will stand with me!!! You have nothing to be ashamed about!!!!! You are a Big Tough Girl!!!

Your story is unique to you...and your journey is your own...everyone is different...different situations, different outcomes, different healing processes.

Here is a little more love from Brave Girls!

"Dear Unique Girl,

Everyone has a different journey. So different, in fact, that new lessons can be learned every single day from each other's journeys. Your friend's journeys are different from yours. Your children's are different, too. Your parents also went on an entirely different journey than the one that is meant for you.

That is why it is so important not to compare, criticize, or complain. We often have the tendency to compare the worst of what we are living through with the best of what others are enjoying. Everyone has the exact path, with the exact battles and the exact joys that are meant for them. We all learn in different ways, and we can all learn so much from each other, too.

So, live YOUR life. Love YOUR life.

Make the most of YOUR life.

And whenever you have the chance to meet another fellow traveler along the road of life, lend a helping hand whenever you can. An encouraging smile or a kind word or two. Be happy when good things happen to others and show compassion when difficult things come along. Remind those you know that ALL of it is good. All of it.

All of it is meant for growth and our ultimate joy.

Keep being the fabulous YOU that YOU are."

That is so powerful! I hope you will keep that in your heart my dear friends!!

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